Five things I’ll be doing while you’re at Burning Man

Five things I'll be doing while you're at Burning Man

1. carefully stewarding my pallor
   
2. repeatedly watching CSI and the Daily Show on the TiVo
   
3. defecating indoors -- copiously, often, and without queueing
   
4. not tongue-kissing a sweaty Java programmer in clown makeup named "Shanti"
   
5. wearing clothes--lots and lots of square, capitalist, heinous-body-covering clothes
   

I am bummed that I am not at the burn this year, but I can atleast make fun of that which I will be able to do this week.